


Flashbacks

by 1_800_fiction



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Choking, F/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:27:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28059177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1_800_fiction/pseuds/1_800_fiction
Summary: Request: “Could you write a Bucky BarnesxReader fanfic where Bucky has a really bad nightmare but when the reader tries to wake him up he lashes out a hurts her by accident? I can’t seem to find any really good ones, thought maybe you could fix that :)” - @tatertot5859 (Tumblr)
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Kudos: 24





	Flashbacks

“We’re back!” Sam announced. You got up and ran over to your best friend.

“Sammy!” You sealed as you hugged him. He laughed, glad to see you again.

“How’d the mission go?” You ask him.

“We took control of the Hydra base, got a lot of information” Steve said, walking into the room. Wanda hugged him and welcomed him back.

“Where’s Bucky?” You asked, excited to see your boyfriend after three months without a word. Steve bit his lip and that was when you knew something was wrong.

“What happened?” You looked between Sam and Steve. They both hesitated to answer but finally Sam spoke up.

“Hydra turned him into the Winter Soldier. We got him back. He’s okay but he hasn’t talked since” He explained. You knew what that would have done to him, you’d seen it before your very eyes. One minute he was a killing machine, the next a very damaged and remorseful human being.

“Where is he?” You demanded.

“Bucky’s in his room” Steve answered immediately. You left them and made your way to him. Once you were at his room you didn’t bother to knock, you just walked in. You knew he wouldn’t respond anyway.

The room was barely lit. Bucky sat on the edge of the bed, his back facing you. He held his head in his hands. You walked over to him and placed your hand on his shoulder. He slightly jumped in surprise.

“Buck?” You spoke softly. He turned away from you even more. You stood in front of him and kneeled. He tried his best not to look at you but you placed your hands on his cold face and moved it to face you.

The look of guilt and shame ruled over his face. The mission had effected him hard and you weren’t sure how to help him. All you did was hold him in an embrace. He leaned into you and started to weep. You stroked his head and whispered to him.

“It’s okay” You repeated. After a while he looked up at you through blurry eyes. You softly placed your lips onto his. His hand caressed your face as he kissed you back. You rested your forehead against his and intertwined your fingers with his.

“I’m okay” He murmured. You gave him a small smile and kissed him again.

“Come on” You tugged his hands.

“Lets have an early night” You coaxed. He smiled back, barely, but at least it was a start.

You both changed into pyjamas and buried yourselves under the warm covers.

———

You had a bad feeling that lingered in your gut. The kind of feeling when you knew something was wrong. You heard groaning and you felt movement right next to you. Once you regain full consciousness you heard whimpering and harsh breathing coming from the man beside you.

His skin felt like it was on fire as you shook him awake. He started to yell out words in Russian and his body twisted and moved like he was possessed. You usually could wake him up at this point but now he was starting to scare you.

“Bucky!” You yelled out as you shook him awake.

“No!” He screamed and panted in panic. His eyes snapped open in pure terror, gasping for air as if he was drowning. His hands reached for the closest thing which happened to be your fragile neck. The cold, harsh metal hand squeezed your throat. You went into complete panic, kicking and thrashing your body to get away.

It was no use. Bucky climbed on top of you, suffocating you. You searched his eyes, finding no remorse. You thought you’d die. Black dots started to enter your vision and tears ran down your face.

“Please, Bucky” Was all you managed to gasp out. Without warning, he let go. You pushed him off you and fell off the bed. You desperately ran as far away as you could. Air flooded your lungs as you pushed yourself into the wall. Your hands shook as you wiped away the tears from your eyes.

You looked over to the bed, Bucky still sat on his knees, staring at his hands. His lips trembled, eyes filled with guilt.

“Bucky?” You whispered. You stood up slowly, arms out in front of you.

“No” He rasped out, running over to the other side of the room. He was afraid of himself, afraid of hurting you again.

“It’s okay” You pleaded.

“I’m a monster” He cried.

“No” You consoled him. His back was turned to you. He slammed his fist against the wall, leaving a dent in its path, bits of paint and plaster crumbling to the floor. He shrieked in anger and fear and he pounded against the wall.

You placed your hand on his, making him stop instantly. You wrapped your arms around him hesitantly. Bucky cried loudly at your warm touch. 

“You’re not a monster” You protested but he shook his head in denial.

“Look at me” You demanded. You had to force his head towards you.

“I love you. No one loves a monster” You reasoned. You could tell by the look in his eye you weren’t convincing.

“I hurt you” He whispered.

“So have I. Do you remember when I pushed you over the side of the building?” You asked him.

“That was an accident” He argued.

“Exactly, Bucky. We all make mistakes and it’s okay” You smiled at him. He closed his eyes and breathed out a shaky breath.

“I’m sorry” He sniffled, pushing the hair away from your shoulders, exposing your reddened neck.

“I never wanted to hurt you” He mumbled before placing a delicate butterfly kiss on your neck. You breathed out at the touch of his lips, feeling the pain go numb. He kissed away the pain on your neck as his way of apologising. You let him. His touch was so pure and full of love you almost forgot what he did just moments ago.

You reached for the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and over his head. He followed your actions, ridding the rest of your clothes. There was no rush, both of you taking your time. Bucky loved you passionately, roaming his hands on every inch of skin on your body to please you. He wanted nothing more than to make you happy.

You promised to stick by him, through thick and thin. Your love for each other was a powerful connection, no nightmare or enemy could break you apart. After everything you and Bucky endured, there was no place like home in each others arms.


End file.
